HAH!

two scores in one day.

first!
afroshekwan, the fucktarded racist bastard that i posted previously, was taken off for violating xanga's TOS.

there IS a higher power, and it said "SHUT THE FUCK UP."


second!

on the way to work today, there was a dirty purple honda civic, i'm guessing it was a 96.

it had a poorly tinted back window with a decal that said something like "caliskats" or something equally "hardcore" and gay across the back.

i was on Cherry Street, getting close to Fremont Blvd, when i met this guy on my left hand side. i was going at a fairly good clip, 45 mph or so, when we come to a slight bend to the left.

i'm going maybe 5 mph faster than he is when we actually hit the bend.

caliskat starts drifting into my lane, so i give two blips of the horn just to let him know that he's coming into my lane. i can hear the thumping from his tire being on the separator.

you know what this guy does?

he stomps on his gas, matches my speed and crosses even further into my lane!

i just keep driving, figuring if he collides with me, i'm just going to get some money out of this stupid ricer's wallet.

he continues to put his foot down on the gas, and pulls ahead a little bit and tries to cut me off.

except he's too close and he'll actually hit my car.

so he swerves back into his lane, and then waits a little bit until he's got some headway before swerving into my lane.

at least he was nice enough to signal. i guess that's to legally cover your ass for "not cutting someone off, but to change lanes," just inches from my car.

now here's the funny part.

this particular morning, i'm listening to select songs from the Katamari Damacy OST. And I'm listening to "Katamari on the Rock".

if ANY of you have played the game and listened to the music, you KNOW that it feels empowering.

but here's the kicker:

it makes you feel empowered with a GIANT FUCKING GRIN PLASTERED ON YOUR FACE.

so i actually giggle and LAUGH, and downshift my car to 2nd gear (good ol' automatic...lol.), switch to the passing lane, and just gun it to pass him.
i take a quick glance over at the driver.

here's a description for the Justice Police out there:

white caucasian male
brown hair that's like he shaved his head but grew it out over the past month and a half.
probably 25 or so
horrible complexion with pockmarked face

and as i pass him, guess what?

I HAVE A HUGE FUCKING GRIN PLASTERED TO MY FACE.

THANK YOU KATAMARI!

God, if it wasn't already funny enough, I hit the chorus of the song, which is...well....descriptively:

"na naaaa na na na na na na na na na na na naaaa"

and i now have an even bigger grin on my face.

now i'm just a goddamned menace.

i switch into his lane because i gotta make a right turn onto Fremont Blvd.

and then i stop at the intersection, but because it's red, i don't make a turn.
however, no traffic is oncoming.

so just as i was about to go, the purple civic starts honking his horn at me like crazy.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"

....

But the thing is, i still have a huge grin on my face and i just flip the volume on my sound system higher and i do something I never would normally do.

....

i danced in my car.

i swear to god, i danced in my car. my hands were up, and it just felt so right.



clearly, the guy was pissed, and tried to get around me on the left, and when i saw that, i took off, cutting him off again.

and here was the icing on top of the cake.

a cop just so happened to be coming through the intersection and he saw what the guy was doing, and after i took off, i heard the sirens and lights go on and pull him over.






i walked into my office whistling "Katamari on the Rock" and the biggest grin EVER.